Friday Features: Designer Dilemma

by Mark Rocha

I’ve never really understood the compulsive nature of women to ‘shop’ without really buying anything. The concept of ‘window shopping’ – deception if you will, is something that I’ve never really been on board with. And they make it so convincing too! Right down to, ‘if only they had it in a lighter peach, I would have bought it’ – no you wouldn’t have; and besides, men only see sixteen colours – plums and peaches are just fruits to us – more on that later. Thankfully, this is not one of those narratives where the pretend world of makeup and wardrobe changes drive a man up the horses arse; this is more about those so called ‘designer labels’ that women must have!

I’m with my wife shopping for clothes at ‘Mango’, (there were others before, and a lot more after!) because she feels she needs a ‘new look’. A couple of hours later (yes – that’s how long it takes), she goes to the counter with a variety of seemingly wearable ‘things’ – because that’s what they are really. At times I can never understand how certain ‘tops’ or ‘bottoms’ ... uh ... work? For lack of a better word? Till she’s wearing it, it’s just cloth for me more often than not. Anyway, after the nice man makes it through pricing the wardrobe of Elizabeth Taylor, I’m presented with a total that rivals the gross national product of New Mexico where their only definition for ‘Mango’ is ‘fruit’ (and it’s much cheaper)!

It’s crazy! Why spend so much money on clothes that are wearable, only because everyone knows where you got it from?

They say ‘fashion is a statement’ – however, the only statement you get is from the bank saying that you have a ‘zero balance’. When it comes to me, I really couldn’t be bothered with the label; no one sees it anyway, and it doesn’t make the shirt any better than it already is. What constantly baffles me though is why do people find a designer shirt superior to a normal, non-designer one? Let’s say I have two silk shirts; one’s non-designer, and the other is Armani – who’s going to know the difference? I am - obviously, because I spent one fifth the amount to buy the normal shirt, and plus my pocket is ten times lighter after buying the Armani. I’d rather have a cheap shirt, and something to put in the pocket! Given a choice, I’d much prefer stepping into shops that are down Commercial Street and avoid bankruptcy at the mall. There I could buy five shirts with the amount of money it takes to buy a designer one and in addition to my ‘cost saving’, I keep my wife happy buying the designer clothes she wants! (That’s a classic sign of being whipped by the way, not that I am – it’s just a little game we play!)

The ‘missus’ argues that when you wear designer clothes, it shows you have class, and that you are well off. In my defence, I argue that ‘a man is known by his manners and not by his clothes,’ also, if you give all your designer clothes to a starving family in Botswanaland, they have no more ‘class’ than they have food in their plate.

I can’t however be biased and say that only women crave designer wear no matter how ridiculous the price. My boss always insists on the best. He says that the fit of his Ralph Lauren suits, is unparalleled to any other suit he’s ever worn. Bull-crap with a sprig of asparagus! It’s all in the head. If I asked you to buy a suit from India, you would be reluctant; but check the label of your Ralph Lauren – there’s a good chance that your suit was made in India where the labour is cheap, probably by a company called Ravi Luda!

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Mark Rocha, currently living and working in Bangalore, is popularly known as the host of the drive time show 'Cruise Control' on 91.9fm Radio Indigo, Goa.  Having taken to writing poetry at the young age of seven, he has gone on to write over 350 poems so far. His first anthology of poetry 'fallen', is nearing completion, and is soon to be published. To read more of his works click here.