The Idea

by Vanessa Rebello

Image Source

Lisa’s mother had known that her daughter was special since the day she was born. After two near-miscarriages, nine months of vomit, kicking and contractions and sixteen hours of labour, the little girl’s quick pop out of her mother was rather anti-climatic. As she held her daughter for the first time, she smiled at the disproportionate largeness of her head and knew at once that there was something about this girl.

She was four years old when her mother saw her looking out of the window one summer afternoon, lost in thought.

“What is it Lizzy?” she asked.

Lisa snapped out of her trance like state and looked at her mother.

“Oh... nothing. I just, I have an idea,” she said.

“Really?  Tell me,” said her mother.

She opened the mouth to spill the beans when they heard the tinkle of the bell from the ice cream van. Her mother scooped a few notes out of her pocket and handed it to the girl. She looked at the notes, then at her mother and she jumped off the window sill and ran towards the impending double scoop of vanilla, instantly forgetting about her deep contemplation.

On her eighth birthday, Lisa thought about her idea once again. “You know,” she said to Natasha, her best friend. “I have an idea.”

“Is it a secret idea?” asked Natasha.

“Umm... not really,” she replied.

“If it’s not a secret then it’s stupid,” said Natasha.

“What? That doesn’t make any sense. It’s not stupid,” said Lisa.

 “It’s stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.”

 “No, you’re stupid.  In fact,” said Lisa, “you’re a stupid-head!”

“I may be a stupid-head but you’re a big headed baboon!”

“There’s no such thing!”

“Big headed baboon! Big headed baboon!” sang Natasha.

The girls broke into a barrage of ‘stupid’ taunts before the clown came around to give them some animal balloons. Then they discussed whose balloon was better.

By the time she was fifteen the idea had become taken up permanent residency in her head. 

“I have an idea Tommy,” she said to her boyfriend, “and I think it’s going to be fantastic.”

“You are fantastic baby, you're the most beautiful girl I've ever seen," he said as his eyes looked into hers and his hand pulled her closer.

“Yeah, but this idea...” she said.

“I’m sure it’s brilliant,” he said. “And I want you tell me all about it.” Then he kissed her and the idea got lost somewhere between the blanket and the pillow cover.

What started out as a seed, kept growing and growing inside her head, pulsating and throbbing, making its presence known. A year later it was almost coming out of her ears.

“Pay attention in class!” shouted her Math professor, almost a year later. “You’ll never learn anything at this rate. I’m sure you’re very bright, and you’ll do great things in your life, but now’s not the time. Now you need to learn these equations. Fast.”

Every now and then, she would think about the idea and her eyes would come alive with excitement. She would plan, and scheme, and chalk out and schedule, but all in her head.

She was twenty-three, and married to her first and last lover, Tommy, when she finally thought about going ahead with it. Then next morning she found out she was pregnant.

‘I’ll do it after the baby is born,’ she thought to herself. ‘Now I’m not going to have the time.’

Of course, once she delivered little baby Sarah, there was even less time than there was before. She would think about it as she changed diapers, and mull over it as she went to the supermarket. She dreamed of it as she put Sarah in the school bus and smile about it as she folded the clothes that should have been in a cupboard. She imagined how it would happen as she sent Sarah off to college and wondered sometimes if it would ever really be.

“Mom, what’s wrong?” Sarah, a young woman now, asked her mother. “Are you okay?”

“Of course I’m okay. Why? What happened?”

“Your head,” said Sarah, “It seems to have grown... bigger.”

“Nonsense!” said Sarah’s grandmother, who was sitting in the living room with them. “Lizzy’s always had a big head. It’s the most charming thing about her.”

“No Gramma, it seems to be bigger,” said Sarah as she stared at her mother’s head from a different angle.

“What’s bigger? Lizzy’s head?” asked Tommy as he strolled into the room. “Her head’s been growing for a long time now.”

Lisa rolled her eyes at them. How they loved to indulge in random banter. “All of you are crazy,” she declared. “But seriously,” she said. “There’s something I need to talk to all of you about.”

“What is it?” asked Tommy.

“See,” she said, “I have this idea...”

“Surprise!” screamed Natasha as she swung open the door and jostled in with a cake in her hands, candles aglow and everything. “Happy 42nd Birthday!”

They burst into a tuneless version of Happy Birthday and clapped along.

Lisa stood over her cake, her face yellow from the candlelight, knowing that she should have been enjoying the surprise, but instead all she could think about was her idea.

They finished singing and waited for her to cut the cake, but she simply stood there, knife in hand, staring.

“Cut the cake darling,” said her mother as she put her hand on her shoulder.

POP.

They weren’t sure if they really heard that sound, but before it could be registered Lisa fell, face first, into the cake.

“Brain aneurism. We couldn’t do anything,” said the doctor, as they stood in the hospital corridor. 

“Sometimes there are no symptoms so it’s hard to catch.”

“I don’t understand,” said Sarah.

“Well, something ballooned in her head and then it popped,” explained the doctor. “Like a blood vessel.”

They all stood around the doctor, drying their tears, nodding as they did so. It popped alright, but they all knew it wasn’t a blood vessel.