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Monday, October 7, 2013

How to Write a ‘Bestseller’ in India

The makings of a bestseller and a realistic look at the publishing industry in India with Arcopol Chaudhuri of HarperCollins Publishers India.
Firstly – what’s a bestseller?

You want to write a bestseller. Fantastic. But do you know what that is? Yeah well, neither did I.

“There’s no predefined number of copies that a book needs to sell for it to be considered a bestseller,” says Chaudhuri. “In India you could approximate that number at 10,000 but even that depends on a variety of factors – like the genre, the language of publication, the number of print runs, the advance given to the author etc.”

The smallness of that number left me astounded. In a country of 895 million literate people (Census 2011), how can 10,000 be enough?  I did a little research and it turns out - it's true! While no publishing industry in the world has a fixed number when it comes to this, the numbers don’t seem to be skyrocketing anywhere. This article from ‘07 says the number in Canada is 5,000... but there's nothing written in stone.

So, what IS magic number? Nobody knows. (In fact, the New York Times maintains that its definition of a bestseller is a ‘trade secret’.) Arcopol’s number is as real as it gets.


Okay, so the first step is to write my book, right?

The Two Ends of the 'Bestseller' Spectrum
Wrong. If the aim is to be a bestseller then the first step is to know what the audience buys. There are two distinct sets of audiences in India, and while they do merge to a certain extent, they have completely different definitions of a ‘good’ book.

“A lot of books that you (Vanessa) would qualify as crap actually sell very well,” Chaudhuri explains. “They’re mass market books that can be read in a few hours, require minimum effort to read, refer to ‘familiar’ scenarios and are affordable. On the other hand, the books that you would consider good also sell well. Amish Tripathi’s Shiva Trilogy sold over 4-5lakh copies. Sheryl Sandberg’s ‘Lean in’ is flying off the shelves. So it’s not like people are only buying mass market books. Each has its own audience.”

“For every 100 books published only 8-10 actually sell,” says Chaudhuri. You need to figure who’s reading those 10 books and why.


Alright. Understand audience. Got it. Now?

Now would be a good time to write. “Write something that hasn’t been written, in a manner that your audience will understand and appreciate,” says Chaudhuri.

Once you’ve understood your audience it will become much easier to write for them. If the audience you’re catering to wants simple words, familiar scenarios and colloquial language – that’s what you give ‘em. Alternatively, if you’re catering to a fancy-pants audience that wants take a leap of the imagination and indulge in fantastic plotlines with unforgettable characters – so be it. The same story can be written to suit different types of readers. Just make the decision upfront and write till you can never read your own book again.

(And for the love of all things sacred, please don’t write crap!)


I wrote it! Woot! Everybody publish my book now!

Yeah… sure.  Getting your book published is easier than it used to be, but if you’re aiming for a renowned publishing house, get ready to do some serious waiting.

“If you send your book directly to a publisher, you can expect them to take at least 3 – 6 months to get back to you. IF they like it you can expect it to take up to a year for the book to actually be out in print,” says Chaudhuri.

“Having a good agent does speed up the process,” he admits. “The truth is that the supply is beginning to outweigh the demand. Everyone blogger and their cousin wants to have their book published these days, making the filtering process extremely difficult for publishing houses. A good agent is simply a much more credible source of manuscripts for a publishing house.”


They published it. But nobody is buying it. Sad face.

Aren’t you just the optimistic lil bunny, expecting people to just buy your book because you wrote it.

“The audience in India has a wide array of choices, it’s difficult for them to filter out what they want to read from what they don’t want,” Chaudhuri explains. It’s as simple as this – if they don’t know your book exists, how are they to even consider buying it? Here’s a fun fact - The internet reaches 12.6% of the Indian population. So, apart from traditional book reviewers, it’s a good idea to have your book reach bloggers, writers and twitterati who are known in this sphere. If you can get a celebrity to endorse it, even better!

Of course, being cute always helps. “Durjoy Datta, for example, has a large following – and a lot of it is comprised of teenage girls who think he’s cute,” says Chaudhuri. (Yes, irrespective of what I think of Datta’s work – it sells.)

If you have any understanding of marketing or decent networking skills, you might want to discuss the marketing of your book with your publishers. If you don’t know anything, try not to annoy them.


I sold 10,000 copies. My life’s work is done. I am awesome. Now give me my prize!

Congratulations. *sticks a gold star on your forehead*

You’ve just accomplished something in a large and growing industry. Things are looking good for you. “The publishing industry is doing well in India. It’s growing at 14-15% annually as compared to 4-5% internationally,” says Chaudhuri. According to Business Today ‘the per capita consumption of books in India may be low, but the sheer size of its population makes this country one of the biggest markets for books in the world.’

Make the most of it in two easy steps. Rinse. Repeat. 



Arcopol Chaudhuri works with the Corporate Sales & Marketing team at Harper Collins and did this interview simply because I asked nicely on Twitter. Thank you, Arcopol, for putting up with my incessant and often redundant questions. May you always be blessed with intelligent company and a large twitter following.



*This article is based on the assumption that you can write well in the first place. (Even though several bestselling authors don't exhibit any such skill)

Monday, June 17, 2013

Pushing Buttons for a Living

Vanessa Rebello



I spend over 18 hours of my day between twelve floors. Going up. Going down. Taking people where they want to go. Not really going anywhere myself.

The Guptas live on the top two floors in what they call a duplex. It is the largest house I have ever seen. Six bedrooms, two kitchens, a living room, a room just to watch television, a gym and an indoor swimming pool. I’ve only been to the living room of their house - that they know of.

Mr. Gupta leaves at 7am and returns at 11pm – six days a week. He doesn’t leave home on Sundays. He’s a good man. He’s polite, hardworking and trusting… a little too trusting. He’s the kind of person who gives you a loan because you seem like you really need it. The kind of person who thinks you will honestly pay it back and not skip town with the money. The kind of person that people take advantage of.

Mrs. Gupta is not like her husband. She spends most of her time at home. So does her personal trainer. On Tuesday and Thursday evenings she goes to kitty parties and comes back with something that doesn’t belong to her. Sometimes it’s an umbrella, or a bag. Sometimes it’s silverware or earrings. She admires the glistening watch or caresses the silk scarf against her skin as she rides up the elevator. As the lift pings to indicate her floor, she stuffs it in her bag and I never see it again. She mentioned to a friend once that there’s a cupboard in the guest bedroom where she keeps these things. Such a shame that she won’t be able to file a police complaint when they’re gone.

The Gupta’s have two kids. The girl has a boyfriend. The boy has one too. The parents don’t know about either. It will stay that way as long as I work for the parents and earn from the kids.


Friday nights are my favourite. That’s when the girl goes out. Her tight dresses cling to her young body as her milky, voluptuous breasts struggle to break free. Her high heels accentuate the length of her legs and the curve of that round, firm butt. These are the kind of clothes that society says are ‘asking for it’. Surely, society knows best. Ah… Friday nights. Those are the best 15 seconds of my week. Well… maybe second best. Mrs. Gupta doesn’t always remember to close the curtains when her personal trainer comes over.

Thursday, May 23, 2013

25 Tips on Turning 25


Vanessa Rebello



Last week I completed a quarter of a century on this planet, and decided to tweet a little gyaan that I had accumulated over the years.  Here are a few of the things that I can share with you today. 


  1. Nothing is permanent. Nothing makes sense. Nothing is 100%. And that’s alright.
  2. Don’t quit a job without another in hand, especially with financial obligations. The job scene is unpredictable for freshers. 
  3. A broken heart and an empty bank will teach you a lot more than any educational institute ever will.
  4. To be good at something you need to actually DO it. Persistently.
  5. Don’t waste your time with crappy people. They suck the life out of you and move on. Learn the art of indifference instead.
  6. As far as possible, never owe anyone any money. The vicious cycle of debt will kill you, one payment at a time.
  7. What you love and what pays the bills might be two separate things. Either incorporate the two or find a way to do both.
  8. People are going to talk. No. Matter. What. Let them.
  9. A good friend is one who tells you when you’re full of shit.
  10. You will be taken advantage of in some way or the other. Learn to recognize the people who do this and avoid them.
  11. Learn to be happy for people. Jealousy gets your nowhere.
  12. Your 20s are when you have the least to lose. Take risks in love, work and life.
  13. Cut the bullshit out of your life. People or otherwise.
  14. Don’t get attached to ideas. Put them out there. Push the good ones. Just remember: The best ideas are always bigger than you. 
  15. Meet people. There are so many of them out there and they all have something to offer. Take what you get, give what you can.
  16. Figure out who you are and accept it. You need to learn to enjoy your own company.
  17. Family comes first. Always.
  18. The way you look matters. People are superficial – accept it. If you can beat this with your intelligence/personality – good for you.
  19. Learn to laugh. If you can’t laugh at yourself, don’t feel bad when people laugh at you.
  20. Smile and wave. Sometimes you’re going to need to be courteous to people you don’t like. Suck it up and do it.
  21. Ask. If you don’t know something, ask. Don’t pretend to know. Don’t Google it later. Just ask.
  22. Your parents are growing old. The day you fully understand this is the day you’re an adult.
  23. Keep secrets. Don’t gossip. It’s important to be nice.
  24. Read. Douglas Adams. Richard Dawkins. Blogs. Websites. Something. But read.
  25. Love.

Monday, May 21, 2012

Feature: Soul Swapping

by Sreemoyee Kundu 


Image Source
“So you’re writing a book about guys?”


This was usually the first question.


“What’s it about?”


The next.


“Love… you mean sex right? And umm what about cars… I mean at least one sporting addiction. Okay change that to soccer… more respectable…No? Okay how about Final Fantasy XIII-2. Cool huh?”


“What’s that? I mean the last bit… of course my book has a bit of fantasy, every coming of age story has,” I butted in as three unshaven, wide-eyed faces gawked at me at an up market lounge bar, overlooking a burgeoning Monday evening in the national Capital.


“Okay, this is gonna sound mean, but you have no idea about men dude. I mean a guy book must have chicks, bikes/cars, soccer/Xbox, and alcohol… and…” paused my thirty-something, semi-balding, slightly obese childhood buddy, also an IT pro these days, as his other two colleagues grinned condescendingly.


“What did you mean by coming of age?” my 21-year-old cousin asked over E-mail, adding, “You know I just dig my friend’s older sister. She’s freaking hot man. Should I tell her… umm you think I should get a tattoo? Or, how about writing a letter? The kind dad wrote to ma, you know the one’s he’s always bragging about! Sheesh… Anyway, coming back to your survey, ‘what a guy book should have?’ Umm…. tweet you if I come up with something. Ciao.”


I shut my laptop.


“You seem pissed? Wanna grab a beer later?” an ex colleague pried, patting my back.


“I hate men!” I muttered, walking away.


“Just coz you won’t get a simplistic answer… you know figuring us out isn’t child’s play. It’s not like stepping into Zara because you want that red skinny denims, you spotted in the latest issue of Elle… you have to give us time… and be prepared that most often we won’t have the wise cracks you’re expecting us to have,” he resumed, following me into Zara.


“I wasn’t talking about you okay, stop taking this personally,” I scoffed, picking up a pair of skinny jeans.


“God you women are so damn predictable!” he threw up his hands in the air.


“Hey listen if you asked me what a good chick lit should have, I’d have the answer, and I may even rattle off three top chick lits of all time, so…” I interrupted.


“So… women have all the answers… and we’re still searching. What’s so bad about that? Why can’t you just accept that we’ll always be differently wired? I mean isn’t it bloody exciting to be a man in a woman’s head… umm I’d say body, except you’ll then label me sexist!” he hollered as I swaggered into the trial room.


And that’s how it really all began… my second novel – You’ve Got The Wrong Girl.


With a lot of questions and no answers… well at least to begin with.


Yet, looking back, it was fun swapping parts.


Walking out of bed in a pair of faded Diesel’s, not having to wax and obsess about your upper lip, enjoy plenty of casual sex, get sozzled on countless gallons of beer, watch porn on weekends, look blank when a woman asked, ‘so do you love me?’ (not having a lofty reply is permissible and usually evokes no guilt trip), ride an Enfield Bullet on a gnawing, dusty highway chasing a half finished Sunset, no PMS-ing about heart break, watching Godfather for answers and riding a horse in the last chapter.


I think it’s the sheer thrill of inhabiting a man’s skin that makes the job of a woman lad lit writer so much more liberating… almost like getting that tattoo my cousin never got/having sex with that stranger you just met at the rafting holiday in Rishikesh (the one with the pale blue eyes)/ finally quitting a high paying IT career to be a gaming expert – something my childhood pal secretly aspires for.


In his heart… somewhere.


The only place we all hide – irrespective of our chromosomal bar code.


“So, what’s your book about again?” my childhood friend quizzes, as I patiently wait for his verdict on my finished manuscript.


“A man called Dushyant Singh Kanoria… in search of a girl he once loved and lost… you know the usual boy meets girl story… but with a spin this time… told from a man’s viewpoint,” I reply, trying to retain my newfound male Zen.


“I like Dushyant,” he lazily retorts, flipping through the pages.



“He’s, he’s got soul man… he’s got a lotta that shit happening… but in a hard, I mean in a man kinda way,” he surmises, with a wink.


“So you’re finally admitting that guys too dig soul?” I ask with a half smile.


“Of course… besides there’s something sexy about a woman doing us… I mean you know what I mean right. Hey, do you still have that short, black dress? Wear it at your book reading… you know how we are with legs and shit,” he rambles on.


I laugh out loud, whispering the words, “I do!”





Sreemoyee Piu Kundu is a Lifestyle Journalist with publications such as Times of India, India Times, Mid-day, Metro Now and The Asian Age. 'You've Got The Wrong Girl' is her secondnovel that breaks new ground as a woman ladlit writer. She lives in New Delhi and is currently working on her third book - Seance, a hand book of love verse.


Tuesday, May 1, 2012

Traveling Light

by Athul DeMarco
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It was the summer of 1978. The movers and shakers of the world were flying to exotic locales like Disney land and Timbuktu to meet Mickey Mouse and the many starving princes. But Mr. and Mrs. Azad were off to get their 5 year old son acquainted with their respective in-laws. Traveling in the late 70's by the Indian railways was the basis with which futuristic theorists envisioned humans prepare themselves for the inevitable apocalypse. Mrs. Azad had packed little Tarun's milk bottle, enabling his fixation and obsession with his mother's breasts, food and snacks neatly packed in steel vessels, tea and milk to last for the whole 72 hour journey, along with mattresses, bed sheets, pillows, pillow covers and toilet supplies to last them for an indefinite period of time, just in case the broke down and the last man and woman alive had trouble fornicating in a valiant effort to save human race.

The concept of traveling light was yet to be discovered.

After boarding the delayed train, and making the customary baggage count, Mrs. Azad found to her utter disappointment that she had indeed forgotten few essential items to pack like fresh vegetables, fruits and hangars to hang their dirty laundry. The train had started to move and gather momentum in congruence to the then known laws of physics. As Mrs. Azad turned around to convey the news of her incompetence in the department of packing and household management to Mr. Azad, she found him on the platform waving them goodbye, with a wry smile on his face.

Mr. Azad was a man from the future. And he had done what any man from his time would have done, find a way to shed the excess weight and refrain from paying the excess baggage fee and accompanying tax at the check-in counter of life. He was truly a man of the future. He believed in traveling light.

It was the winter of 2010. Mrs. Azad on her flight to Machu Picchu received a text on her smart phone from Tarun. Her husband had finally been found. The message read, "Dead. No Balls, as instructed. Have a safe flight". Mrs. Azad boarded her flight with her Louis Vuitton bag in hand and wry smile on her face.




Somebody once said, I am not sure if it was me, but anyway, "If you like traveling, meeting people, always trying to figure out what people are thinking, you can either become a researcher or you can create them...". So now I create them when I am not meeting them.